It's turkey time and all I can think about is that my parents are dead. They didn't die at the same time nor did either of them die when I was too young to remember. My father died May in 2011. My mother died around two to three years before that. Currently I'm living with my brother but not because my parents are gone... When I was young stuff happened and my parents got a divorce. My mother got custody of me and we moved downstate. Of course my mother started dating again. Then one day, I was only in third grade, my mother started talking to my older siblings about her new boyfriend. She asked them all if it was alright she was dating him, a man she met in a casino parking lot, but she didn't even let me put in my opinion. No big deal right? Although ironically he was a pedophile and I was basically the only child of my mother still living with her. Let's just say years went by and I was lucky enough to get out of that house with my virginity in tact. However even though I was out of that house didn't mean I had a loving family fighting to take me in. Nope... only my brothers and grandmother were willing and only the brother I live with now was capable. So now here I am no parents, no grandparents... Sometimes I feel like there is nothing to be thankful for then I realize... even when there seems to be more bad than good it doesn't mean there isn't any good. Sometimes it helps me to stop thinking bad and force myself (emphasis on force) to think about the good things.
Good Things
- My brother who took me in
- the fairy figurine my daddy gave me for my birthday before he died
- chocolate
- pie
- chocolate pie
- the stupid things my friends say that put a smile on my face
- cupcakes with cream cheese frosting
- the fact I brought a sandwich for this (in case you haven't noticed I'm hungry)
- When I was made I got an extra dose of "sense of humor" serum
- The people who dry tears
Just listing these things (and realizing I had a sandwich) made me feel better for now while just this morning I was depressed over another holiday without parents... but that doesn't mean I won't have family (even if some of it is borrowed from my sister in law)
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